2011-02-27

 

Nuke the Whales

People of Libya, here is what you need to put on your signs before the good vs evil battle about to unfold.

As per this anonymously written document (of which NOT ONE word was written by me), if socialists want a glorious revolution, they need to first see that all along the problem was with them. They need to revolt against their own sick twisted ideology.

Please note, that as you vanquish evil, I would suggest that as you decide what rights Gaddafi gets, you weigh it up against what rights you would give a beautiful lion that had unfortunately eaten your child.

Humans have evolved to be extremely sophisticated and savage weapons of death. No other animal comes within a fucking million miles of our species, because we've got brains that are more deadly than anything a fucking tiger can muster up. But with that deadly ruthless power we were born with, we do have the ability to put in extremely sophisticated safeguards to ensure that that power isn't abused. I hope in my life I have proved that self-confessed savage raping racist/tribal beasts can be tamed, and that my life shows that it is in fact technically possible to do so.

Until then, I will be applauding the brave Libyan soldiers as they storm Tripoli. A credit to the human race. I will be with you in spirit, but hopefully physically I will just be watching you on CNN or whatever.

Oh, and to the ASIO security forces who have been hunting me down, but constrained (to some extent) by Australian law (thank god for that!), I would ask that you spend less time on keyboard warriors, and more time investigating credit card fraud. Because from what I've experienced in my life, you're way over-staffed on police to enforce speed limits, and way under-staffed on police hunting down fraudsters. Just saying.

Goodbye and good luck Libyans. I'll be keeping a close eye on this until I can't stay awake any longer. Please make sure you make some rap music videos like this when you're done so that I have two videos to play in a loop instead of only one. How about one from Iraq too? Looking forward to the Bhutan one as well, as I'm thinking of moving there, since that is the only country in the world with a complete ban on smoking. I'd want to ensure it is a liberal democracy before I go in though. I'll look up the specs of that country later. May need a bit of tweaking here and there? I know Australia we should just dump it in the fucking Pacific Ocean. Oh. Wait.



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